only when i whine
i don’t know what there is to say today besides that it’s sunday again (EW) and i have a powerful urge to watch clueless. but sometimes we have to resist our urges or we end up turning in briefs that we are ashamed of.
i was talking to this lady about temperaments the other day and she was all…but your temperament craves stability, so you can’t just be a starving artist. and i was like YEAH WELL MY TEMPERAMENT IS ALSO CONTRARY SO JUST SINCE YOU SAID THAT IMA DROP OUT. bitch.
sometimes when i can drag myself away from watching an entire season of 30 rock on netflix in one day, i watch new movies. last night i watched that movie up there, only when i dance. its a documentary that follows two teenagers from the favelas in rio who are tryin to be dancers. irlan is the quintessential ballerina. tall, strong, lean, quiet. there’s this scene where mariza, the director of the centro de danca in rio, is talkin about how when irlan gets nervous and anxious he doesn’t eat. and she seems really pleased about it, like he’s passed her test for how good ballerinas should be.
then there’s isabela. she’s black (bad news for ballerinas in brazil), and a bit “heavier” than everyone else. and not as talented of a classical dancer as irlan. and so much of the doc focuses on commentary about her black skin and her wrong body type. and mariza keeps telling her that she needs to want it, to really prove that she has the right body to be a ballerina. and you can tell that mariza has this idea for how ballerinas are supposed to be. and isabella doesn’t quite fit. so much latent racism and body-ism (is that a word) that mariza is sort of tryin to fight, but she’s fightin it with her own weird fetishisms about black skin and skinny ballerinas.
look, i realize the past few posts have been subpar lately. i’m sorry :c
anyways. watch the doc. it’s so beautiful.