I won’t even pretend that I deserve a warm welcome back. There’s nothing to say other than than I am going to law school and have accordingly commenced becoming a Moderately Boring Person. I cannot even become a Very Boring Person, because The Law is, above all things, concerned with measure and moderation. At least, that is my understanding of things. Soon I will be immersed in a world of socratic cold-calling, people more obnoxious than I, and torts, which are like fights made boring. I’ll tell you what should happen if Sally slaps you in the face, sir. Why one needs an entire class devoted to the subject is beyond me. A tort, my ass.
I can hardly bear to listen to myself type at this point. I will tell you about the movie I watched tonight, Serpico. Al Pacino plays real-life hero Frank Serpico, whom I enjoyed until he began growing facial hair at around minute 15 of the film and thus lost my support and enthusiasm. These are my depths. I appreciated the movie, but I did not cast my heart towards Serpico in the way I might have towards Sonny Wortzik, for instance. All through the movie I kept chanting “Ser-pi-co” to the tune of “At-ti-ca”. But that’s just me, and my heart beats to the drum of another drummer. I don’t think this post is going to work out tonight. But I would like to give myself points for trying. I’d say five points just about does it. As a bonus round, I will now watch Scent of a Woman. HOOAH.
Coming up next: When Your Therapist Makes You Feel Awkward, or, Repression is the New Black.
Before I leave, I’d like to give you all this gem of an article, for those of you who are likewise infatuated with the Lady Gaga. As all of you well should be, if you know what’s good for you and your soul. I won’t say whether I appreciate Ms. Moran stealing the “I interviewed a rock star and they invited me to hang with them and I am soooooooo special” fantasy and having it come true on herself, but I will say that it is best read with your vicariously-is-the-only-way-to-live hat on.