I take it back, crim pro can kiss my ass.
That’s really not important here. What I want to tell you about is a dream I had the other night. Worst dream of my life. And too bad for yall that this terrible year has leeched any ability I once had to glean even a modicum of insight into my ridiculous thoughts, conscious, sub or otherwise. Leeched it like the motherfucking parasite it is (you know what, fuck you if leeches aren’t parasites) so I’m just going to give it to you straight. I went to bed after about, I kid you not 13 straight hours of trying to figure out what the fuck procedure applies to criminals in the state and motherfucking federal systems, and had a goddamn panic attack about not understanding any of it. And various other things we don’t need to discuss. You know what, if you are a neurotic person, just don’t have kids. Because you know what, they’re going to be neurotic too and do you really want that hanging over your conscious you neurotic fucking ass?
You know, once upon a time, I could deal with my shit because I made dealing with my shit a priority. I prioritized that shit! The goddamn depths I have fallen to.
Anyways, I went to sleep thinking about how I thought I had this subject on lock and really was not so sure about that anymore, and slept terribly, and had this lucid crazy dream about being a serial killer. And that is not the kind of dream you want to have lucidly. I guess it wasn’t really lucid in the way that I felt like I could control what was happening, but shit, it felt like it was me in there. And I was in this dream, experience this incredible cognitive dissonance of presenting myself as a very likeable, innocent, good person, presenting it so emphatically that even though I knew I was doing these terrible things (i.e., killing many people), I couldn’t give up this image. And it was fucked up. Right? Because who am I really.
You know what. I might be intoxicated at the moment so I’m not going to do this dream justice. Not to mention that my brain lacks the ability to analyze anything other than motherfucking legal doctrine. And even then. It’s not so goddamn hot. Who the hell gets drunk off ONE miller light? I do. Jesus Christ. At least that’s good news for my liver, if for nothing else.
Fuck you law school!